Thursday, August 5, 2010

I feel like my heart is bleeding sadness....

Got a minute?...
I'm not necessarily a conversational blog....
more pictures and art...but tonight I have only words.
Words and thoughts that need to be said so I can move on....we can move on.
Our visit to the Oncologist today was the culmination of my biggest fears.
To save you all the technical, medical mumbo jumbo....Just let me say that the cancer that was supposed to be a slow grower has now turned into an over achiever and become a fast grower.
There are now lesions on Daves lungs...more on the liver and colon.
Something showing up on his right leg below the knee and on it goes.........
there came a point when my mind as she was talking momentarily just checked out.
When I returned Dave was reassuring her that we would not be doing anymore chemo....
that he would not be trading in quality of life just to add a couple more months of longevity.
Not subjecting his family to witnessing the deterioration that would come with this horrific chemo that was being suggested with no guarantee of anything.
I sat there listening to him...like someone had robbed me of my tongue....dumbfounded and yet marveling at the way he was communicating. Like he was at a board meeting...eloquently bringing people around to his point of view through his earnest explaination.
I felt like I was witnessing the Holy Spirit speaking through him.
Have you ever had those moments? Straight from above?
When he finished...the oncologist looked at us and said something to the effect that if in this position herself she would hope she could make the same decision.....No Chemo.
We left with an appt. scheduled for a couple months
just to keep an eye on him , earilier if needed.
We were told Dave only has months...only God knows the days that are numbered upon this mans head.
God and God alone...
As a man who loves his family beyond anything...he is now about the business of getting things in order....knowing him as I do,
he will not rest until every" t "has been crossed and every "i "dotted.
Life on this earth is a "Gift"....going home to be with the Lord for eternity is the "Hope" of those who love HIM.
My man says he is ready....
My heart is bleeding "sorrow"...
I pray I am everything he needs me to be when the time comes....
God promises to supply when we need it.....I'm counting on it because HE always has.
Covet your prayers as we have Grands here until Sunday...the tears need to stay in my head until then.
Not my strenght at this point...
I wish you could really know this man...he is my strongest weakness.
I cannot imagine life here without him.
Please pray for my 4 grown children, if your a parent you know....
Our Grands are sleeping as I write this and my love is asleep also.
I needed this time to communicate to you my sadness for the moment...
I am fully aware that "Joy" will come in the morning.
I for one will welcome it with open arms.
God Bless, Kathy.

119 comments:

  1. Kathy I have no words.

    Prayers are with Dave, this wonderful husband of yours, you and your family.

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  2. Kathy My heart aches for you. I went through this with my mother. She made the same choices your Dave has. I was amazed at her grace and the peacefulness of her choice. The time we had left was very short but filled with a life time of wonderful memories. I will keep you in my prayers and your Dave too. Warmly, Sharon

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  3. Oh Kathy, I am so very sorry that you received this news today. My heart is aching for you and I do not even know your sweet husband. I have prayed for him and will continue to pray for him and also your whole family. We do not understand God's plan for our lives, but must put our faith in Him. As you stated, there is hope in the fact that our loved ones go before us to be with Jesus in heaven and that we will join them one day. I know this is more than your precious heart can take right now and that you are just numb, but know that there are so many of us out here in blog land who love you, pray for you and will be here every step of the way to be whatever support we can to you during this difficult journey. It is OK to be angry and ask "why"? Although I have never met you or your husband, I am deeply touched by this. I wish there was something I could do to make it better. For now, all I can do is pray that your dear husband will remain pain free and will be able to live his last days to the fullest, surrounded by all those that he loves so much! God will have his arms wrapped around all of you during this time. Kathy, I know that you will receive strength from the Holy Spirit that you will not even realize that you were capable of having, in order to be able to help your husband through this hard time in his life. I love you, Kathy, and know that I am here for you if there is anything at all that I can do. Praying for God's peace for your whole family to accept what the doctor has told you. I am sending a big hug to you and your hubby. Love & blessings from NC!

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  4. Kathy, I hope you can feel the Love I'm sending to you...my heart is just breaking for you and I'm crying with all the pain you must feel my friend...
    I too lost my husband of 31 years in 99 and I will tell you this mountain was not high enough to hold all my tears...I take my faith from God knowing he needed my Wally more that I did...Please always remember I am here for you my friend...God knows your name and hears your pain...Sending the BIGGEST hug I can to you...Love Gloria

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  5. Dear dear Kathy: I am shedding tears for you until you are able to. I have no words that can offer comfort however I am praying for strength for your entire family. Blessings...

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  6. Oh Kathy, What words can I use to possibly express my sorrow...this is not the answer to prayer we had hoped for. My tears are flowing for you as I type. I cannot even begin to imagine what you are feeling. Your man is the best testimony and witness to the hope we have for the future as believers in the ONE TRUE GOD. How you will handle processing all this with your beautiful grands in the house is beyond me but not beyong God. I wish there was something I could do to help ease your burden...I can pray and pray some more. Stay strong sweet sister in Christ. Feel sorrow,feel Gods compassion and feel the love of your friends...Many blessings prayed upon you in the days and months ahead. Patty

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  7. OH... I am so sorry. & Oh how I hate Cancer.
    I know that you have probably heard many stories... there are so many miracles... we were called to the hospital with my MIL & told only a few days... she lived for many yrs.
    We don't live as those without Hope.
    I pray that you sleep well tonight & JOY will be there to greet you in the morning.
    "But the Lord is still in His Holy Temple; He still rules from Heaven. He closely watches everything that happens here on earth" Ps. 11:4
    Praying for Peace for you & a miracle for Dave.

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  8. Kathy, I am so sorry. God will give you the strength to go on I know. My oldest daughter Amber went to Heaven last July and I wonder how we made it through the days before and after ... God gave us the strength to go on. It wasn't easy but we did survive somehow. It was only with the help of the Lord. I miss her sooo much and my life will never be the same. I have to make myself get up each morning to go on with life like Amber would have wanted me to. My thoughts and prayers are with you!
    Hugs,
    Donna

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  9. My thoughts and prayers are with you tonight and for the days to come. God bless you both.

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  10. Kathy, I wish I could eloquently put down what I want to say...please just know that I will most certainly keep you and Dave in my thoughts and prayers. Be strong.

    Blessings and love,
    Natasha.

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  11. Dearest Kathy and Dave,
    I truly have no words to convey the sadness in my heart tonite. While we know that only God knows what will be, we will pray for you both and hold you up in prayer to Almighty God, from whom comes our help and strength.
    I really feel a strong love for you both.
    a sister in Christ..
    you're in my thoughts...
    glenda xoxox

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  12. Oh Kathy I am so so sorry to hear about Dave. I remember being in the Dr. office with my dad when we were given the same kind of new about him. It is so strange the way everything seems to just stand still - and yes, It is so precious the way the Spirit comes in His awesome way to give comfort and peace in that very hour.

    Pray and know you will feel God's strong arms of comfort around you and Dave and the family. It was a time of deep sadness and yet much healing for our family during those last days of Dad's life.

    bee blessed
    mary

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  13. Oh, Kathy.... My heart aches for you. I hope you and your family enjoy the time you have left with your precious Dave. I know how much you all love each other, and I only wish there was something more I could do (beside say my prayers for you) to ease your pain.

    Try to have as much fun as you possibly can this weekend with the kiddies-- these are the memories that you will cherish forever...

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  14. Kathy,
    I am so so sorry to hear this bad news about your husband. I have been praying for him and you. He sounds like a wonderful, strong man.
    How I hate that horrible disease. It took my husband, too. Your faith will sustain you both.........I can tell. And God is still in control. We will still pray for a complete healing.
    D

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  15. I can feel your pain. I am so sorry~

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  16. Kathy, my heart and deepest prayers go out to you and your family. One of my good friends has just gone through this journey with her beloved. It is a very difficult thing to do, and heartbreaking at it's best. Thank goodness for the comfort and hope that the gospel brings. ((((hugs))))

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  17. I hope and pray for you all to find the strength to get through these trials. My Mum always said "Where there is life theres hope". Hang onto the love and the hope. xx

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  18. O no !!! .....i don't know what to say to you !!..my heart cries..........I sit with tears in my eyes to write to you
    Of course i pray for you both and your familly......O Kathy...come here a big big huge hug for you..............so sad news......i don't know yet..........i believe in miracles God can heal people and we all know, he leaves that to Dave please do ......love Ria........

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  19. My prayers go with you and your family. My heart feels the sadness in your words as I have been there. God bless ..you may write me anytime. Elaine

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  20. Oh Kathy - words seem to fail me now, but I just wanted you to know that someone, a stranger yet a kindred sojourner, was sharing tears with you out here so many miles away... I have followed your updates on your sweet man for these many months and I am heartbroken for you. I can only ask our Father to hold you and trust that He will...His Grace is sufficient.

    Hugs to you dearest,
    Becky

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  21. Kathy, I'm so sorry...I prayed this day would not come for you. All my prayers to you in this difficult time, which I'm sure words cannot begin to describe. Be strong sweetie, sounds like this will be his gift to you...sharing his strength.
    xoxo

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  22. The tears are not staying in my head. You are showing strength beyond words. Life ..... prayer..... love.....

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  23. Oh Kathy, I am so sorry for your sadness! I know the Lord will be with you and give you the strength to be there for your beloved when you need it. My prayers will continue for all of you.
    september

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  24. Dear sweet Kathy,
    I cannot find words either. I want to say so much to you, but the words won't come. You have expressed your pain so eloquently that my tears are falling for you. My heart is breaking for you and I pray that you will find strength in your strong faith.
    Please know that you have so many well wishers here and you can pour your heart out anytime you feel the need. You are loved.

    hugs and love
    Sissie

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  25. Oh, my heart aches for you. Your hubby sounds like a very brave soul and you will be too when the time comes. I don't think there are any words that could possibly ease your pain but I hope our prayers will help, and there will be a lot going out today.

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  26. Kathy, my heart is hurting for you and your family. I am so sorry for the road you and Dave are walking right now, amazed at Dave's strength and example, saddened (along with you) by your shock and grief, comforted by God's Presence in your lives. May He be especially close. May you know the comfort and encouragement of many prayers....in His strength, Linda

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  27. oh kathy, I have read your post with tears streaming down my face, I am so heartbroken for you and for myself as my dad has leakemia and has been told now that the chemo and blood transfusions are no longer working, I feel i to have little time left on this earth with him its very sad yet there is some peace that when the time comes there will be no more suffering for them, be strong and enjoy each and every moment there is together .
    hugs tina

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  28. Kathy.....
    there are no adequate words. I will pray each day for you both and your family.
    Jesus will walk with you through this and His angels will surround you. Great love is sent your way....
    Tina xo

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  29. Kathy, you are in a state of shock...I've been through this...you will survive...your heart will break but in time, it will also heal. Take care of yourself in order to take care of your husband...In your shoes, I know so little will stick in your brain now...so know...You love with all your heart and that is all you can do!!!
    Will remember you all in my prayers...
    Love from
    Becky

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  30. Oh sweet Kathy,
    I have tears running down my face for you and Dave. I will lift you both up in prayer and hold you in my heart. I wish I could wrap my arms around you and take away some of your fear, hurt and pain and offer answers to your uncertainty. Know that I am here for you ~ I'm a very good listener.

    Jo

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  31. Kathy, there are no words I can possibly say to you to help your heart stop bleeding. I'm so touched by what you have confided in us this morning.
    May God bless you both and your family...
    much love,
    Diane

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  32. Kathy,
    I am so sorry for all you and Dave are going through. Please know that I will pray for you. My Uncle went through the same ordeal and it is just hard to go through this with someone you love so much.
    God loves you both and so do we.
    Robin

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  33. Kathy, someone led me to your blog this morning and I wanted to let you know that not only am I praying for you I have updated my post this morning to include your blog for others to wrap their loving arms around you and your family right now. ((Hugs))

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  34. I am so sorry for the news. I so agree about the "no chemo". I honestly believe that it could shorten his time. Your "love" sounds like an amazing strong person. I have always feared how it would feel to loose my husband. I think I would have less sorrow knowing that he was ready and got to say his farewells.....kinda like celebrating his own life. It will be hard with the little ones there but maybe that is God's plan as well. This has to be soooo hard. I am glad that you can escape on here and let it all out. I will pray as I am sure many others will as well. I will pray for your Hubby and strength for you. Make this time as special as you can. SO sorry. ((((HUGS))))) and Prayers

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  35. Kathy, I have a big lump in my throat....sadness for you both, and your family. My prayers are with you...stay strong.

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  36. Tears flow as I read this. Thankful that you hope is in the LORD but no words can express the sorrow that I feel right now reading this. You have been such a strong example to me of what if means to be devoted to one another. It is hard to believe that a man as strong as Dave is going through this. His testimony is shining for God right now. So proud of him and you for the way you are standing together. You will be in our thoughts and prayers. We love you guys! Dale and Joanne

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  37. I know no words that will give you, Dave and your family the comfort and strength to see you through this, your toughest battle, of life. I can only pray, and I will pray around the clock for you and all your loved ones.

    Gianourmous hugs!
    Laurie-Jean

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  38. Dearest Kathy - You have just described the fear that is lodged deeply in my own heart. My greatest fear for me or someone I love. Your words and your courage are amazing. Your husband is ready. He has been making himself to be ready all along. Watching and waiting is the hard part. I do understand - I watched my father go through almost the same thing, make exactly the same decisions, do it his way. He seemed to be at peace - I was a wreck.

    Only God know for sure - you have said that. I know you will make every day count. Somehow - as strange as this may sound - there will be blessings along the way of this "journey" - you will know when they are there.

    My prayers are for you both - they have been for some time now. Can I just say that YOU are my hero.

    Vicki

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  39. You are in my thoughts and prayers Kathy...
    ~ Sue

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  40. Kathy, Dear, dear Kathy,
    My heart aches and tears for you and your family. We will pray that God surprises you with a turn of events for Dave. His answer is the same one I think I would give. Our lives ARE in GODS hands. Only HE knows the number of our days.
    God Bless You and keep you Strong. We are not to know the answers, only that HE is ALWAYS there for us.
    BlessYourHeartsEveryOneOfYou

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  41. Kathy,
    I'm so, so, sorry. My heart just breaks for you and your family. I don't have any words......but just know that we will continue to pray for you and be whatever support we can.
    Love you and yours,
    Betsy and family

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  42. Dearest Kathy,
    I cannot even imagine...
    My prayers are with you, your family, and your dearest husband. You were right to share your grief...we, as the body of Christ, are to bear one anothers burdens. I hope to bear some of yours.

    Cindy

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  43. Oh my dear Kathy. I have no words. I can tell you that you and Dave are brought to my mind often every day and every time I send up prayers for you both. For healing, for strength, for comfort, for the Holy Spirit to cradle you all in his arms. My heart breaks for you both. I can only continue to pray, but God will give you both the strength you need to get through this.
    All my love and prayers.
    Kathy

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  44. Kathy, my heart bleeds with you right now. I lost my dad to lung cancer in October...he opted out of chemo and went for quality of life. I had 9 of the best months I can ever remember with my father....and through his incredible strength and Christian witness I learned that God does get you through....and that there is always something else waiting on you in life...the day we buried my dad...we permanently committed my mom to a dementia unit. I just thought cancer was bad....I at least had an inkling of understanding of it. I am clueless when it comes to dementia. My prayers are with you both. Please keep us posted. God Bless!

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  45. Dear Kathy,

    My heart breaks for you and your husband, as well as your family. This is the news we so hoped would not come. I am sending you my love and prayers as you make this journey with your husband.

    He is a strong man. It must have been difficult for him to make that decision. Bless him.

    I am thinking of you all and sending my love.

    xo
    Claudia

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  46. Hello Kathy...I pray for the peace that transcends all understanding for your whole family. I lost my first husband to cancer..you wonder where your strength will come from..but it does come..I am so sorry sweetie.
    The only thing you can hold onto right now, is knowing Dave is headed toward "home". Try to enjoy the journey with him.
    Love to you.
    Debbie@houseatthelake

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  47. Oh, Kathy, I can't even imagine your sorrow and heart breaking so. We all face that time in the future when we'll be separated for a little season but it doesn't make it any easier when it comes, sweetpea. I can't help crying as I read this post from you and my thoughts will be with me for a long time because of this. Bless your heart and his for making and accepting such a decision.
    xoxo,
    Connie

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  48. Kathy... there are no words that can truly comfort you during this time, only the presence of our loving God. I'm so thankful that you have a love with your husband that is strong. I am so thankful that you two had these many years to share and to love each other. I will be praying for both of you and will be trusting that God will do a mighty work in your lives. Thank you for keeping us updated. You (and your family) are what make your blog valuable.

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  49. Kathy~ I will lift you and your family up in prayer. I Know what a difficult road this is, all you can do is stand on faith.
    Live each day.

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  50. Oh my gosh, I am a fairly new follower to your blog and didn't realize you were dealing with this. I am so, so, so terribly sorry:(

    When your time comes you know you will have your wonderful man waiting for you up there. Until then, big prayers coming your way.

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  51. Kathy, I am so, so very sorry. I was hoping and praying that there would be something....your husband is a wonderful man and I can only imagine your sorrow at this. How wonderful that he and you know the Lord and have the Hope of tomorrow. But I am so sorry. Cancer makes me so angry.

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  52. I am so very sorry...thinking and praying for your family..
    xojanis

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  53. I would like to offer some advice. I'm sorry if it offends you but there is something out there that I hear really works for cancer. It is called raw foods. No it's not raw meat etc;.. it is live foods meaning no meat dairy sugar or anything cooked or processed. I have met many people who have cured their cancer (some were very advanced in it) with this way of eating. It is a vegan un-cooked diet. If you would like more info, as in sources of information let me know and I can provide it to you. Or you can look on you tube. There are lots of video's on raw foodists and recipes. Anne Wigmore founded an institute and cured her own cancer with this way of eating. If I have upset or offended you, I am greatly sorry. I am just trying to help.
    Charmaine

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  54. Kathy, I am so sorry for your husband's illness. You've said before that he's your soul mate so I can't even imagine how you must feel. You will continue to be in our thoughts and prayers.

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  55. Kathy, so so sorry. I can so tell how strong and brave you and Dave are and what an amazing faith you have. I love you for that and for sharing your pain with us and letting us lament with you and pray for you. Words are just not sufficient, but I hope you can feel God's love through our messages.

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  56. I have many tears today reading your post. You and Dave and your family will continue to be in my prayers.
    Hugs,
    Joyce

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  57. Oh, Dear Kathy! My heart is breaking for you and your family! I can't imagine how you must feel and really wish I had words of wisdom to comfort you. But I know you are a strong Christian lady and how you lean on the Lord. God will see you through, no matter what. He'll more than see you through - He'll hold you in His loving arms and be just what you need Him to be. My prayers are with Dave, you and your family!
    I love you,
    Blessings,
    Shelia ;)

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  58. I am praying for you and your family. God knows what you need and when you need it. I am praying you will have God's strength and HIS peace.

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  59. I can't imagine the difficulty you are going through, but will lift you to the Lord as I know he does know and will give you what you need during this time.

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  60. No words, just prayers for you and your dear family!

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  61. Oh Kathy, I am so sorry and so sad for your family. My thoughts and prayers are with you .
    LUVS & HUGS
    Benita

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  62. Kathy -- my heart aches for you and your loved ones. I pray that God will show you a miracle. No matter what happens, you are right - joy comes in the morning. As you go through this trying time, it is reassuring to know that you are not alone, that He will be there right along side of you. And no matter how this ends up, you and Dave will be reuinited where there is no pain or sorrow. I'm sending a big hug to you and will continue to pray for you both.
    Rose

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  63. Dear Kathy,
    I'm so very sorry to hear this sad news. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family as you go through this painful time together.

    XOXO
    ~Kim

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  64. OH SWEET KATHY,
    MY HEART IS SO GRIEVED FOR ALL OF YOU, I JUST KNEW
    WHEN I READ YOUR FIRST LINE, BUT WAS SO HOPING I WAS WRONG. MY DAD AND MY FATHER-IN-LAW HAD CANCER
    SO I KNOW HOW SHOCKING THIS IS, BUT YOUR HUBBY IS A WHOLE DIFFERENT THING. PRAYING FOR YOU, DAVE AND THE FAMILY SWEETIE. SO VERY SORRY FOR THIS SAD NEWS - WAS REALLY HOPING THERE WOULD BE SOMETHING THE DRS. COULD DO. JUST REMEMBER THE LORD ALWAYS HAS THE LAST WORD, THE DRS. DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING. AS LONG AS HE IS ALIVE THERE IS STILL HOPE.
    LOVE AND PRAYERS HON, NELLIE
    NELLIE

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  65. I know you only through this beautiful blog. I pray for your family and pray that you can feel all the love and support you have from people you have touched with your blog and by opening your heart to this horible thing that has come into your life. I will continue to pray for you and your family and for you to have the strength to get through this. He sounds like such a wonderful man, you were so blessed to have him.
    Karen in Northern California

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  66. I have been following your heart-wrenching journey from out in blogland, and I was so saddened to read today's post. This was not the result we all prayed for. I admire the strength and faith you have both shown during this ordeal, and can only hope that I would have the faith and grace you both do. I will pray for more loving, happy days for the two of you, and continued strength and grace for you both. God bless, A friend in California

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  67. I am so so sorry and so happy you have Jesus for your hope. Lezlee

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  68. Kathy - I sent you a private email to your email address - please look for it.

    Vicki

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  69. Oh Kathy, such heartbreaking news. It is hard to imagine what you and your family must be going through at this time. I can't even think of the words to give you comfort as it is not an easy thing that you will be going through in the coming months. My thoughts and prayers will be with you and your family.
    Take Care,
    Ulrike

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  70. So very sorry to hear this...your family will certainly be in my daily prayers...may God's Holy Spirit continue to lead,guide and comfort all concerned....he will be your strength in days to come....

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  71. Oh Kathy -- not what we were all so hoping that you and your love would hear. My heart hurts for you. I hope that whatever gift of time there is for the two of you, that Dave will have good quality and that there will be peace for you both. I'm so sorry. Sending you love.

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  72. Oh Kathy, my heart breaks for you. May God be with your family during this difficult time.

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  73. I am so sorry. I cannot even imagine and I don't know what I could possibly say except that I will be praying, earnestly praying for you, your husband and your family.

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  74. Dear Sister in the Lord...you're in my prayers, you and your love. I simply cannot imagine what you and your family are going through but know God will see you and Dave through.
    In Him...

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  75. Along unfamiliar paths I will guide you;

    I will turn the darkness into light before you

    and make the rough places smooth.

    These are the things I will do,

    I will not forsake you.

    Isaiah 42: 16

    Sending you my love Kathy!

    Jen

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  76. I am so glad you updated us, so we, your friends, can pray with you and for you and your husband. Your words and writing here are both beautiful and brave, I so respect you...not fighting against what your husband wants, accepting it, and knowing you have to help HIM.

    My husband's father did the same, once he was told the cancer was back...and he, too rejected living in sickness with trips to the hospital and laying around...he went without the chemo and his quality of life was good nearly to the end...normal almost. So you should know that you are loved, and we are praying for you and your dear husband...how brave he is and I'm sure he is because you are, too.
    ((((HUGS)))
    Joni

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  77. Dear sweet girl. I am so, so very sorry ~ my heart breaks for you all. I'll be praying for blessings, comfort and love dear friend...

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  78. Kathy~ I am so sorry to hear this news...please know that there are many of us out here who care for what you, Dave, and your family are going through and who will be praying for you with love in the days ahead...XO

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  79. Oh, Dear Kathy - Words just don't seem adequate right now. You and your dear hubby are in my prayers. Much! Lean hard on the arms of the Father - He has grace and strength to hold you close through these days.
    Hugs and prayers,
    ~Adrienne~

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  80. To my lovely new friends. Not sure what to say, so I will say little.
    Kathy, when your in the shower, let the tears wash away down the drain. I know your a very strong human being. I think Dave will miss you even more.
    Love From Canada, big love.
    Claudie
    xoxoxoxo

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  81. I just found your blog and am touched beyond words. I work at a large hospital and my life is touched daily by walks such as yours. My heart aches for them and even as I am smiling and reassuring them, I am crying inside. Something I do when the door is closed and the patient is gone.

    I am sending a hug your way and a whisper of hope that God will comfort you in these upcoming days and weeks. I am signing up as you newest follower. Diana

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  82. Kathy & Dave, I have been too choked up to write until now although I read your note yesterday Kathy. I just finished reading these wonderful comments to you and felt I needed to share that I do know you both personally and you are both exceptional Christians, and human beings. Your testimony throughout this ordeal has been amazing and inspiring. Dave is an amazing man and Kathy you are an amazing woman. I picture God's big hand and both of you nestled in his palm as you go through the months ahead. Sending our love, Teri & Bill

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  83. Kathy, My thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband and family. You will get thru this with the grace of God. Your strength will come from him.
    There is always hope and prayer does amazing things!
    In Christian love,
    Nancy

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  84. I am truly sorry that you and your husband are going through this awful time in your life. As I was reading your story my eyes just filled with tears because life is just so fleeting and I also know that tomorrow it could be me that is going through the same thing with my husband. We don't know what's ahead of us. Each day is certainly a gift. I wish you the best and for your husband too....and I wish him peace in his heart.
    hugs, Sue

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  85. I am a new person to your blog today.

    Your walk has taken a path in a journey we all dread to hear about. Your candor in your prose, sent shivers up my spine.

    I hope you can accept the strength of your family, friends and faith during this time of difficulty. I feel you have those gifts from what little moment of you, you allowed me to see.

    I hope the best for your husband and family...and especially for you, take care of you. I find your joy in color and your sharing very artful.

    What little I can do, is send you empathy.

    Sincerely,
    Denise

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  86. Oh Kathy, we are praying for you both, and your grown children and your precious grands. Much love, Lisa~

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  87. I hope it is a comfort to know so many are praying for you, and will continue doing so as you travel this road.

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  88. Kathy, like all the others before me I am feeling devastated for you - words just don't seem adequate at the moment. Please remember to enjoy the moments for what they are and that your blogging friends aren't far away.
    Suzyq

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  89. When one of us hurts we all hurt. Standing in prayer with support for what lies ahead. May the peace that passes understanding continue to guard your heart and mind.
    Rich Blessings, Candy

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  90. Dear Kathy,

    I am so sorry to hear about this. I am thinking of you and praying for you all.

    with love,

    Polly

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  91. Dear Kathy,

    My heart and soul reaches out to you and your family.

    Your husband is a triumph of strength. May he and you have as many cherished moments as possible. Each one being a precious gift from G-d.

    I pray for you to be blessed with strength and courage. Know that your husband will always be with you. Physical death does not separate true and real love. That kind of love lives on forever.

    G-d Bless you.

    Love Melissa

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  93. Such a heartbreaking post....I don't have words to make you feel better...except that "We Care" and are with you always.

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  94. I am truly sorry, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Hugs Pat H

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  95. You poor dear. My heart aches for you. What a brave and strong couple you are. You're both very much in my prayers, to give him the best in his last days and continued courage. What an admirable man he is. May God's arms be wrapped around you.

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  96. Dave is my hero, I have often said if there is no hope for quality I would never go thru or put my family through the torture of treatment. Saying that and doing that are two completely different things, I am not sure that I could not hold onto one thread of hope. He is my hero, he's going to make that very tough choice to make the days he has left wonderful days instead of turning them into misery. That right there told me what kind of man he was. God bless you on this journey.

    Carol

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  97. Kathy, I wish I could reach out and give you a big hug. My heart is aching for you. My mom made the same choice about 2 years ago. I felt some pressure from others that somehow I should "persuade" her otherwise. It was her decision and hers alone to make. She had the best summer enjoying her flowers, sitting on her porch, spending time alone with God and growing closer to Him, and settling any unresolved issues with others. For that I am thankful and have no regrets. I pray that the Lord will comfort you and strengthen you. I am comforted by knowing that Mom is in a glorious Heaven, and even given the chance, she would not even consider returning to this old earth. Hugs to you. Melissa

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  98. You are both very courageous. Blessings to you.

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  99. Couldn't help but weep as I read the news and yet be in awe of you both. My wish for you is that time will have no meaning as you live in the moment and in each others' love. May it seemingly stop for a little while each day. Sending hugs and continued your way!

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  100. I wish I had the gift of words to help you. All I can do is continue to pray for you and your dear one and your family. I read your words aloud to my husband and we were both moved by the bravery of your husband in choosing to live his life to the fullest.

    Hugs and Prayers,
    Janelle

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  101. Dearest Kathy ... there are no adequate words. My heart and prayers go out to you and your family.

    Love,
    Susan and Bentley
    xxoo

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  102. I know you not, I don't know Dave. But my heart is broken as if your the dearest people on earth to me. It's because your the deares people on earth to our Lord and saviour. No platitudes just deep feelings of compassion and prayers for Gods sustaining you all.

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  103. Dearest Kathy and Dave,
    Together you have made the right decision to live each day they way you chose to. Enjoying eachother every waking moment. The everylasting love that you two share is a blessing that will fill your hearts for ever!and confort you in times of sadness. You both have the deepest faith in our father in heaven and that is what will get you though these times of fear. You both are loved so deeply by your family and your friends and even by your blogging friends who have never meant you in person, but feel love for you both.. I am sending you both the biggest hugs and a warm smile.
    Elizabeth

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  104. Sweet Kathy...

    I believe with all of my heart that God Himself directed you to my blog for it's been a while since I visited you in return. Even more time has passed since I first read about the illness your hubby was facing. I had no idea it had progressed to the stage it is at today.

    Forgive me getting so busy with my own life that I did not check in more often to see how you have been. I feel just terrible...

    I can so relate to the passion and love you have for your man because I have one who is just like him. Beautiful inside and out and full of love for the Most High. Reading about how your beloved is handling his illness has stopped me in my tracks...stopped me this very moment from continuing to feel sorry for myself over something super-stupid and totally non-life-altering.

    I believe with all my heart that God uses people, even when they are hurting, to minister to those of us who way too often struggle to get things right... You have done that for me today. Reading about what you are facing this very day, the grace and dignity in which your husband is facing life on earth AND eternity with the Lord has helped my heart do a much needed turnaround!

    Thank you seems so little to say but I'm screaming it out from the deepest parts of my being just the same.

    My prayers are going up in behalf of you and your entire family...and especially for Dave. Blessings to you my beautiful friend~

    Trusting in faith for God's healing touch...

    Love, Rebecca

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  105. Oh Kathy,
    My heart and prayers go out to you and your dear one.
    Maryrose

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  106. My prayers are with you and your family....May the peace of God be with you. May He Hold You with His steadfast love and comfort. May you know that it won't be long until you see your loved one again.......May God Bless You All!!!!
    Mary

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  107. No words other than a heartfelt prayer for you, your dear husband, and all your family.

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  108. I have been away from the blog world for a while and wanted to drop in. Wow...I am sorry you have to go through this. I will be praying for you and your entire family to have the strength to endure. Please keep your blog friends updated when you can, we care about you!,
    Missy

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  109. Dear Kathy,
    What a courageous decision your husband has made. I pray that the days to come will hold many lovely memories for your family to revel in.
    Sincerely, Cynthia

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  110. stumbled on your blog this morning & read this post...praying for you and your family in this time of difficulty. So thankful to hear that the Lord is your strength - I know He will carry you through. Blessings!

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  111. Kathy,
    I just found your blog when you commented on mine. But as I browsed through I get a since of happiness, love and joy. Even the first time I saw your sweet picture, I thought " How lovely is she" and I meant inside and out. Then I read more and realized your love of God and your family. Because of this love you already know He is the great physician. Though I know we should be encouraging you, please know that yours and your husband's strength is a blessing to us also. Your husband, you, and your family are in my prayers.
    Elizabeth Ann

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  112. Makes you really stop and think that right now is all we have. When I tell my daughters to remember to stop and smell the roses, I truly mean it. You are amazing, you know.
    Brenda

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  113. Kathy! I had no idea! I am so sorry! My heart is breaking for you! I am really at a loss for words!

    Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you both and the rest of your family!

    I ams so sorry!
    Cathy

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  114. Dearest one,
    I just read this for the first time this morning. I am speechless for the moment.
    I pray for strength for him, you, the entire family and friends. My heart is so heavy and I can't even come CLOSE to how you must be feeling. I pray for all of you.
    Love, bj

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  115. Kathy~

    I've just been enjoying looking around at all the beautiful photos and projects you've been doing and find myself here. I am adding you and your beloved and your entire family to my prayers. After the year my family had, I know that God is in control and that He alone measures our days. If you've not had a chance to read my mother's amazing story in "Behind the Scenes" on my sidebar, perhaps you'd be interested. God bless you and may we all decide that we are going to live until we leave this place and go to the better one where we'll be more alive than ever before. Thank you for stopping by my place so that I could tag along home with you!

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  116. Oh my sweet friend:( My tears are flowing.... I have been away but thought of y'all often. My heart is aching for you:( I will keep your sweet husband in my prayers. Big hugs.
    Sandra

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  117. I'm praying for you and your husband. Sacred heart of Jesus we place our trust in you.

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Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts with me...I am always encouraged by your kind expressions and thoughtful comments....Know that you are loved....xoxo Kathy.