Sunday, January 30, 2011

TIME OUT...

A photo of my Love and I a few months before we were married...over 40 years ago.
Thought I would share it with you as It still amazes me how young we were then and yet It feels as though it was just yesterday.
Many of you have asked how I'm doing since Dave's death almost three months ago now.
I really have nothing to compare it too to give you an honest answer...I've never lost someone I've loved so much.
There are days I think I'm doing well and then there are days when sadness becomes my closest friend.
Missing him is suffocating at times, we were so close...probably too close.
There is no place I can go...or anything I can do that doesn't remind me of him...we were too close.
My M/O is to keep busy when my heart is breaking and I've been doing that, maybe to a fault.
I think I need some time to just take some time out and climb up on the Lords lap and grieve.

I keep coming across things like this card that came with flowers years ago and find myself constantly fighting to not be sad and cry....
I've decided to give into it all and hopefully speed up the grieving process...(so typical of me).
Saddness is basically foreign to my personality...I'm always up...happy...smiling, that's just me.
I don't care for this new "Best Friend"...Sadness.
So...I'm going to take some time and see if I can't just dump it, with some help from the Lord.
I knew this retreating thing would happen...we all have our ways of dealing with grief,
this is mine.


Taking some time out to always be thinking of him now...and working things out.
Blessing to you all...be back soon,
xoxo~Kathy

56 comments:

  1. You are in my thoughts and prayers dear Kathy!

    Stay warm,
    Dolly

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  2. Sweet Kathy,
    I pray for your healing my dear friend.

    hugs
    Sissie

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  3. And I am thinking of you too..You brought fresh tears to my eyes..Thank you for sharing your private feelings with us.
    And that photo..xx

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  4. We each deal in our own ways...there is no perfect way. Your post touched me deeply. I've been married to a Dave for 41 yrs next month. Met in high school. Raised a family and have been together so long, that we both wonder if that's a good thing! That when one of us is gone, how will the other get through it. Until it happens, like you, who's to tell? I appreciate your honesty dealing with Dave's death and what you are feeling. It may be a huge help to somebody down the line.
    I'm sending you a warm hug and if you need a shoulder, don't hesitate.
    Jan

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  5. Kathy, I went through this when I was forty and had a seven year old and a fifteen year old. You're right about letting yourself grieve...it's just hard to know when to come out of it. Experiment and know that it does get further away...it never changes...just gets further away...
    What helped me the most was finding a couple of friends who were going through the same thing...sounds silly but it helped so much to know I wasn't crazy...and that we all had similar feelings...
    Wishing you a peaceful week!!!

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  6. I am so sorry that you are having to go through this...but, you do need to grieve. Anxious for when you get back.

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  7. OH Kathy, I am so sorry for what you are going through right now...take time to do what is right for you. Sending loving thoughts and prayers your way...XO

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  8. Oh Kathy, i've been away from blogging but think of you often. With tears in my eyes, I tell you that you are always in my prayers. Sending big hugs to ya, from Texas.
    Sandra

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  9. Bless your heart. You are experiencing one of the most difficult thing in the whole world to deal with. Take your time and grieve. You need that. My heart and my prayers are with you. Hugs, Marty

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  10. You are in my thoughts so often, Kathy.

    Keeping you in my prayers.

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  11. I'm very sorry for those days of sadness. 40 years, I can't even imagine, Kathy. I will keep you on my heart and prayers.

    Warmest wishes to you!
    ~Michelle
    xo

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  12. Keeping you in my thoughts Kathy. See you again soon.~Hugs, Patti

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  13. No wonder he fell so deeply in love with you. In the picture your skin looks flawless, your expression just like that of a beautiful Barbie doll. I hope you take this with the kindness that is meant. I'm so sorry for the days you are having to face without him. Over time....it will get easier. Less sadness less hurt, more smiles at the memories. Let the days flow sometimes thinking of him sometimes not. Time to heal.

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  14. Kathy,
    Wishing the best for you. Take your time to grieve and let the Lord help with your sadness. We will be here when you get back.

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  15. Take the time you need Kathy! We grieve with you and for you...know that you are in my prayers. Gosh, you and your love...what a beautiful young couple. How do the years go by so fast for all of us?

    I remember when my Mom passed away my Dad could not stay in the house with all the memories. He had to move. But others, such as my FIL, wouldn't leave his house until he couldn't care for himself anymore. I hope you find the peace that you need and want.

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  16. Precious Kathy,
    You will be so very much
    in my prayers as you take this
    time ~
    I cannot even begin to imagine
    the pain of losing your sweet
    husband after 40 years ~
    I know the Lord has plans for our
    lives and they are perfect and I know
    that He will give you peace ~

    Hugs,
    Lori

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  17. Kathy,

    I miss my friend. Thank you for sharing him with me for so many years. I keep thinking things will get easier for me as I grieve myself, but it is actually getting worse. I loved him. He was like a father to me. I am learning how to deal with it day by day. I've never lost one so close. I thank God for his mercy. I thank God for giving me a friend as close as Dave. Well, I need to go and deal with my tears. The floodgates have opened up and I am sad, but thank you for sharing.

    Tim

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  18. OH, Dear Kathy! Oh, darling, my heart aches for you! I can't imagine what you're going through but you're in my prayers for God to be everything you need Him to be.
    What a beautiful young couple you were.
    Blessings,
    Shelia ;)

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  19. I can't even imagine what you are feeling. I have been married over 40 years now and I too was very young. I have read your blog for some time now and felt so bad for you. I hope some time off to heal will help. I will be thinking of you and saying some prayers for you. ((((HUGS))))

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  20. My heart aches for you.My thoughts and prayers are with you hugs...Pat H

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  21. I understand. There is a sort of "clutch" that happens when you least expect it and your soul just feel open and raw. I can only tell you to take the time to grieve..that if you DO put it off it comes back and bites you..sometimes years later when you are driving down a road somewhere..and unsuspecting...and it about knocks the happy spirit of life right out of you. So, grieve, Kathy...take as long as you need...and don't expect too much of yourself..don't expect that every day has to be a happy one..because not all of God's moments are happy ones for us. I will be keeping you in my prayers and looking forward to seeing you back when you are ready. Love to you, dear lady---Diana

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  22. You have my permission to stomp your feet, scream,throw things, hit Wheezer from "Steel Magnolias" if you can find her. I'm glad you are dropping the stoic, and embracing the grief,
    I think embracing and blessing the awful, heart wrenching things you have faced will be good for you. Remember we all love you, get your compass out so you don't lose your way back to us...and we'll leave a light on for you...
    God's blessings on you...I love your sweet picture..he's very handsome & you are a beautiful lady.
    I love you,
    glenda xoxo

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  23. You are in my thought and prayers my dear dear Kathy...take your time.......i always thinking of you ......when you will talk.....mail me please !!....did you get my mail yesterday ??....love love love with whole my heart ......xxx...

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  24. HI Kathy,
    I didn't know, as I haven't been around the last few months... I am so sorry for your loss. I can't even begin to imagine the pain you have been and are still going through. Any man that would have put up with your girlie colors must have been a saint! I am sure he is up in Heaven watching over you.You will just have to do some great and wonderful things so you can catch up when you are together again.
    Hugs and you are in my prayers,
    Kammy

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  25. I am so thankful for sweet friends...
    Those of you who have traveled this road offer me hope and inspiration.
    I'm assured the Lord has my family and I right where we need to be and we're leaning on HIM daily.
    Thank You for your love and concern...especially prayers.
    Tim....he loved you too.
    xoxo~Kathy.

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  26. My prayers are with you Kathy. I lost my father, my best friend a year ago...and yes, it is good to climb in Jesus's arms and grieve.

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  27. Kathy grieving can be a long process and each of us drives down that road at our own speed.
    Someday the moments of rejoicing in the love you two shared (and still share) will come more often than the feelings of loss.
    I know that Dave is there watching over you, walking with you though this challenge, holding your hand and wishing he could make this easier for you.
    You are in my prayers Kathy!
    Love Tina xo

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  28. For Every Thing, there is a time.
    Soft prayers~

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  29. Sweet Kathy...there is no time limit on grief.
    We will all be here when you are ready to come back.
    Love and prayers,
    Debbie@lakehouse

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  30. Dear Kathy,
    Take time to heal your heart and soul.
    Hugs and prayers.
    Sharon

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  31. Kathy,

    I'm new to your blog but was overwhelmed by your touching honesty about this incredibly hard time you're going through.

    The photo you shared was so beautiful. Just look at the two of you. So sweet.

    I've prayed for you.

    Sarahx

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  32. Completely understandable Kathy. I think that allowing ourselves to grieve is the only way to really deal with sorrow and pain. I can't imagine you NOT needing time to process this. I still hold you up in my prayers and will continue to do so. Sending my love your way.

    Hugs
    Kathy

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  33. I'm new to all of this, but nevertheless...I think of you often and pray that your heart heals. Amy B

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  34. You have sweet friends, mom. xoxo

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  35. Such a beautiful post! I am so sorry about your husband. I have not visited in a long while as my hubby has been having a hard time with his Multiple Myeloma now in its 6th year. I know I too, will face loss and I hurt for you... I am glad I took time today to catch up...Hugs and luv, Kerrie

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  36. Hi Kathy,

    I can't even begin to imagine the pain that you must feel inside yourself. I'm so very, very sorry to hear about your sadness.

    Sarahx

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  37. Kathy, that is the wise thing to do. Take time to grieve. You need to do that. We will be here for you whenever you come back. Thinking of you, my friend.

    xo
    Claudia

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  38. I am sorrier than I can say! I lost my beloved after 43 years, suddenly. I didn't even have time to say goodby. Everyone's pain is different..but mine seems to be ongoing. I have gone on with my life..because otherwise I would have lost my mind. I still cry 13 years later and I always will.
    There is nothing anyone can say...nothing. I wish there were. I would say it. I think all of us would.
    I'm thinking of you...

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  39. Oh my Kathy! My heart is breaking at the thought of you having to go through this! I am praying for you...knowing that we get through times like these only with God's strength!

    Take care sweet lady!

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  40. Dear Kathy,
    Love is the greatest gift we can receive and you were so blessed to have had such a wonderful man by your side. I don't now if missing someone ever really goes away. Maybe it just gets better as time goes on. I say cry, cry and cry some more, cuz that is what I would be doing.
    My prayer for you is that the Memories you hold in your heart that are yours and only yours, bring you comfort and that your dear children will bring peace to your sad heart.Your faith is strong and Knowing that one day when its your time, you both will be together again in heaven also bring peace unto you.
    Really BIG HUGS XO, Elizabeth

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  41. My Grandma always said to "Sit with it." Not until adulthood did I understand how important that sitting is....Take all the time you can for yourself...I'm very sorry for your loss.

    Julie

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  42. Love and hugs to you Kathy! XOXOXOXO

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  43. Dear Kathy -
    I often think of you and pray for you. You DO need to take time to grieve - people who don't work through their grief never heal. Let the Lord hold you close - lean hard into His arms and let go. We are here when you're ready to return. We love you and want you to take the time you need.
    ~Adrienne~

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  44. Kathy,

    Thinking of you..yes you do need to take time to grieve...find your way and in your time. After my Dad died I was so busy taking care of my Mom it was almost a year before I could take time to allow myself to grieve...take time for yourself..we all wish you the best!

    Miss Bloomers

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  45. I cannot imagine how difficult this time must be for you. I am saying a prayer for you today. I'm happy you stopped by my blog and led me here to yours. You are welcome over at my place anytime. Much Love.

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  46. Just scream and cry my dear friend - just let it go~~

    I love you~~

    Vicki

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  47. Hi Kathy, I'm so glad you stopped by!! I hope you are doing ok - I love your new pink dining room!!!
    Suzyq

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  48. Dear Kathy,
    I can feel your pain through your words. It must be a crushing weight. Please know that you have friends praying for you. I know it doesn't make it any easier. Taking the time to grieve is healthy for you.
    Much love to you,
    Mary

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  49. Thank you for sharing your deep feelings to all your readers. Kindly remember that your family and friends are always there for you.

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  50. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  51. May God carry you through this time & path you are traveling Kathy. Prayers will be lifting for you at Mass tomorrow & beyond.

    May Dave's soul RIP, may you find the strength to carry on.

    Valentine's love sent your way ~
    Marydon

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  52. How are you doing, Friend???
    Thinking about you/praying for you often.
    You have had a rare & precious Love, how can it not be hard to not have it there right beside you every day.
    Trusting that as you go thru the valley, God is right there holding you. He has gone before you to prepare this way...
    Be well/ Stay warm ... : )
    Sending you a hug this Valentines day...

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  53. Oh Kathy , I so know what you are going through. It will be 3 years next month that my Florian Passed . I remember asking a friend who had lost her husband a few years before that, if it would get better. She said it didn't get better , but you get used to it. Well I guess I'm getting used to it ,cause most days I feel great ! But there are still days when I greave , that's OK. I know days like today bring it home again. But think how awful it would be to never have had love. So I go on knowing that's what he would have wanted. I'm not sure this helped you , but at least you know you're not alone.

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  54. Sharon....
    You'll never know the sweetness of your comment to my heart,
    Love Kathy.

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  55. Kathy I just found your blog and it is gorgeous. I will be your newest follower.
    I am so sorry about your loss. I will keep you in my prayers.
    Hugs
    Susan @Susan's Hearts and Flowers.

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  56. After I went to fetch myself a kleenex, I want you to know that God is the only one that can confort you, I can't even say I imagin what you're going thru, but you describe it so well it touched my heart Kathy. I will keep you in my prayers so HE can give you a little bit of strength everyday of your life and at the same token, to always remember the glorious life you led next to someone that loved you sooo very much and you love sooo very much, now. I don't think we're ever prepared for the loss of a loved one...EVER!
    So glad I met you pretty lady as I was looking at Jean Ramsey's post today. I'm also your latest follower.
    May GOD bless your new journey in life.
    FABBY

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Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts with me...I am always encouraged by your kind expressions and thoughtful comments....Know that you are loved....xoxo Kathy.